KNOW HOW TO ARGUE…

With NO exception, it is with the utmost importance that you know exactly how to argue within a relationship!  The previous statement may sound funny; however, the reason that many failed relationships started deteriorating is because either one or both parties didn’t know a few ground rules about arguing!

For starters, someone is wrong; usually!  Outside of the very rare occasion where it really is nobody’s fault, someone did something that caused the issue or problem.  Between the both of you, you know who and they know who did it.  That is no secret.  Whoever the culprit is, needs to fess up and be totally honest.  One of the absolute worst things that you could do is argue with someone that you love, when you are wrong.  Not only that but also, catch a  major attitude and rant and rave.  That would be the equivalent of pouring gasoline on a fire!  If you need a moment to regain your composure, you should walk away for a few minutes.  When you are ready, come back and own up to whatever that it is that you have done.  Be very sincere and extremely apologetic in your delivery.  That is the least painful and quickest way to resolve the issue.  Not to say that you won’t hear a word or two back from your partner but, after all, it was your fault.  Your partner should be impressed by your honest and forgiveness should be a cinch.

Secondly, avoid all low blows!  I repeat… Avoid all low blows!  In the midst of the emotion and anger, you might want to hurt your partner by lashing out and bringing up one of their sore spots.  It would be an easy and quick way to make them mad and hurt them emotionally.  Do not do it!  It will have a long-lasting and devastating effect on the trust and respect between the two of you.  You might win the battle but your relationship will lose in the war.  If your partner goes there with a low blow, please remove yourself from the area and go somewhere where they are not.  Continuing the argument, at this point, would not be advised until you could calm down and talk rationally.

Another thing, please listen when your partner is talking.  Do not try to overtalk them because you wouldn’t want them to do it to you.  This would also frustrate and infuriate them and they most likely would go on a rampage.  Listen to what they say with an open mind.  They actually might tell you something that clears the whole thing up.  You will get your chance to talk when they finish.

And lastly, through it all, try to remain calm.  It actually could be a misunderstanding.  If you both go off on each other and hurt each other’s feelings, you would create a big problem for nothing.  Plus, being calm might actually relax your partner’s mind and make them calmer.

Having an argument with a loved one is inevitable.  If and when you do find yourself in an argument, remember that you need to play fair.  If you have brutal arguments with a partner, this could very well destroy any hope of having a happy future with them.