LET’S DO IT!

Sex, sex, sex, sex!  Now that I got that out of the way…  Sex is a very important part of a committed relationship.  It can directly effect other aspects of your relationship depending on the frequency and satisfaction of the intercourse.  It is perfectly fine and necessary to have open communication about your sexual desires, preferences, and needs with your partner.

First off, it is okay to say no to your partner when they ask for sex.  There are limitations to those times though if you want peace and harmony.  If you are extremely sick, extremely tired, or there is absolutely no time, you are justified.  However, you should make every effort to remember to make amends as soon as possible.  The very next day, that you are capable of sex, you should approach your partner, without being asked, and rock their world.  This will give them confidence and reassurance that you weren’t personally rejecting their advances.  It will also remind them that you want sex with them too.

It is important to know that foreplay is a way to heighten the experience and is very important.  A complete sexual experience includes foreplay, the actual act of sex, and cuddling afterwards.  Talk to your partner so you know exactly what they like and want and express to them your wants and likes.  Encouragement before, during, and after sex is recommended.  It also helps if you communicate during sex to give them reassurance that you enjoy what they are doing.  After both of you are totally satisfied, you should enjoy the moment and each other’s closeness and each other’s body by embracing and talking for a while.  Oh, and throughout the experience, kissing is always good.

Everything should be open.  You should be able to talk about all things sexual with your partner.  That is of the utmost importance.  What positions you like or would like to try?  How often you want sex?  What things you like to do as far as stimulation and foreplay?  What things that you want done to you?  And all of your sexual fantasies and anything else that you want to talk about with your partner. It should feel comfortable and natural during any discussion that you may have.  And, you should make your partner feel comfortable enough to be able to express themselves openly and honestly to you.

There are a few factors that can and will effect sexual desire within a relationship.  Significant, long-term weight gain can have a damaging effect.  Not just because of shallow reasons.  After all, they are with you because they love you.  Significant weight gain has a negative effect on your health as well.  If they love you, they want you to be healthy and to stay alive.  Also, your appearance will drastically change with a huge weight gain.  It is very possible that the physical attraction would lessen and that would decrease the number of times that you and your partner had sex.  A big weight gain could actually be a physical burden during intercourse.  Your partner might not be able to handle you on top of them for long periods due to your size.  There are respectful ways to try to help your partner lose weight without making them feel ashamed or embarrassed.  For example, you could suggest that the two of you do a fun physical activity together like bike riding.  That way it wouldn’t be that obvious and they might be more receptive.  Suggesting going to the gym might seem laborious so they might not be too enthusiastic.  Another factor that might hinder sex is arguing.  Fighting time and time again will make you less attracted to one another so sex will dwindle.  Not to mention, some people hold back sex as a form of punishment.  A way to avoid this is to use those steps to prevent as many arguments as you possibly can and minimize the damage when you do argue.

Sex is not the ONLY part but it is a big part of a completely satisfied and happy relationship.  It has an effect on the overall success of a union between committed partners.  Both of you should be able to communicate openly and honestly about every aspect of sex.  Make your partner feel comfortable about frequent, open discussions in order to make sure that you are both up to date.  Show them that you are attracted to them and that you desire them every chance that you get and your sex life should be fine.